Paddy, Siddiqi, Bill Flynn, Erick Smith, Blue Henry. Col Price, John Boettcher, Jim Ferris.

A woman goes to her doctor complaining that she is exhausted all the time. After the diagnostic tests showed nothing, the doctor gets around to asking her how often she has sex. "Every Monday, Wednesday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday," she says. The doctor advised her to cut out Wednesdays and Sundays. "I can't," says the woman. "Those are the only times I'm with my husband."

Paddy O’Brien, Riaz (P), Phil Ford, Shah (P), Cec Newberry, Alan Boettcher, Blue Henry, Bill Flynn, Jack Squires, Dusty (P), Millar, John Markey, Col Price, Harry Hall, Jim Ferris, Manzoor Hussain (P), Siddiqui (P), Iqbal Hussain (P),

Khadim Hussain (P) Aethishum Un Nabi (P). 

[The “P” indicates that the blokes are from Pakistan.]

An elderly couple are sitting around one evening and the man says to his wife, "Marsha, we are about to celebrate our 60th wedding anniversary. We've had a wonderful life together, full of contentment and blessings. But there's something I've always wondered about. Tell me the truth. Have you ever been unfaithful to me?" She hesitates a moment, then says, "Yes, three times, Sidney." "Three times? How could that happen?" Sidney asks. The wife begins recalling slowly, "Well, do you remember right after we were married and we were so broke, and the bank was going to foreclose on our little house?" "Yes, dear, that was really a terrible time" replies the man. Marsha continued, "And remember when I went to see the banker one night and the next day the bank extended our loan?" "That's hard to take" the man says, "but I guess it really was for us, so I can forgive you. What was the second time?" "Well," she continued, "do you remember years later when you almost died from the heart problem because we couldn't afford the operation?"......."Yes, of course" the man replies. "Then you will remember that right after I went to see the doctor, he did your operation at no cost?" she explained. "That's true" Sidney nodded. "That shocks me, Marsha, but I do understand that you did it out of love for me, and I forgive you. So, what was the third time?

 

"Marsha lowers her head and says, "Sidney, do you remember when you ran for Country Club President and you needed 62 more votes...?"

L-R:  Allan Patterson, Eion McCarthy, Col “Paddy” O’Brien, Dusty Millar, Len Dancy

Back L-R:  Col O’Brien, L Nugent, A Wight, J Blythman, L Wright, J Chamberlain,

J Kelly, Instructor.

Front L-R:  B Tracey-Patti, K Sutherland, P Millar, A Barty, B Garrick.

The doorbell rang and the lady of the house discovered a workman, complete with tool chest, on the front porch. "Madam," he announced, ."I'm the piano tuner."  The lady exclaimed, "Why, I didn't send for a piano tuner."  The man replied, "I know you didn't, but your neighbours did."

A friend said "While I was driving down the road the other day (going a little faster than I should have been) I passed over a bridge only to see a cop on the other side with a radar gun laying in wait. The cop pulled me over, walked up to the car with that classic patronising smirk we all know about and said to me "what's your hurry?" To which I replied, "I'm late for work." To which he asked, "What do you do?" "I'm a rectum stretcher," I responded. The cop was surprised and confused. "A what? A rectum stretcher?? And just what does a rectum stretcher do? "Well, "I said, "I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in I work side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch the hole, until it's about 6 feet wide." Then the cop asked questioningly and cautiously, "And just what do you do with a six-foot a**ehole?" To which I replied, "You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge...."

 

Traffic ticket: $95.00 Court cost: $45.00 Look on cop's face...PRICELESS

THE DIFFERENCE IF YOU MARRY A QUEENSLAND GIRL

 

Three friends married women from different parts of Australia.....

 

The first man married a South Australian girl. He told her that she was to do the dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple of days, but on the third day, he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away.

 

The second man married a lady from New South Wales. He gave his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking. The first day he didn't see any results, but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done, and there was a huge dinner on the table.

 

The third man married a girl from Queensland. He ordered her to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed, and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything either but by the third day, some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye and his arm was healed enough that he could make himself a sandwich and load the dishwasher.